
30+ Hours Burn Time
Candles for the Emotionally Unavailable
For the ones who’d rather ghost than get vulnerable—this collection is as emotionally unavailable as you are.
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Cunt Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Big Dick Energy Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Live, Laugh, Leave Me Alone Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Only Slags can Smell This Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Dump Him Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Manifesting a Rich Husband Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Candles are Cheaper than Therapy Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Emotionally Unavailable Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Catch Flights Not STIs Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Fuck Off I'm Wanking Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Brains are the New Tits Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Time to Smash the Patriarchy Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
I'm Literally Just a Girl Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Fuck Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Pussy Pussy Pussy Marijuana Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per -
Live, Laugh, Lobotomy Candle
Regular price £15.00 GBPRegular priceUnit price / per
Emotions Just Get In The Way Anyway
Welcome to the ultimate collection of funny gifts for emotionally unavailable people—because feelings are overrated, and commitment is terrifying. Whether you’re the walking red flag your friends warn people about, a proud avoidant attachment style ambassador, or just dead inside but still polite, these candles get it. Designed for chronically single queens, low-key commitment-phobes, and anyone who prefers a well-timed meme over deep conversations, this range is pure emotional detachment in a jar.
Handmade in Bournemouth, every candle is 100% natural soy wax, pet-friendly, and has a strong scent throw—perfect for masking the scent of your latest situationship leaving in a hurry. With hundreds of designs, these are ideal funny breakup gifts, toxic ex survival kits, or just a way to let visitors know upfront that no, you will not be unpacking your trauma for them.